To Fly or "Dragon"Fly

It’s no coincidence that many of my animal totem blogs are also animals for which I composed or co-wrote on my Animal Totems CDs. Most of those creatures have played roles in my life at one time or another with profound messages.  
Dragonfly was a constant companion for me while I lived in the Southeast.  Its message to me that my efforts are maturing and my spiritual path is clearly ahead certainly seems true for me right now and maybe for you, too?  
That Dragonfly represents transformation seems to be a universally held belief.  I have been consciously transforming myself since I left home at 18 with a lot of self-hate and anger, low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy (sound familiar to anyone?)  I thought something was wrong with me and I would unknowingly sabotage myself, make un-wise decisions and then beat myself up about it.  
But the thing is, I couldn’t put a name to what I was feeling or figure out how to make changes to feel better in a lasting way.  This is a very vulnerable position to be in because it’s easy for some to fall prey to drug and alcohol abuse or religious groups and cults that say they have the truth or answers you’re looking for.  What they really want is to be able to manipulate and control you through guilt and fear with the illusion of hope.
There was no road map for me to follow.  No career counselor, or life coach.  So, what guided me?  Basically, the same thing that guides a Dragonfly nymph in the water to transform itself into the flying aerial acrobat.  It’s instinct.  It’s the inner guidance, the inner voice, the inner knowing.  It doesn’t happen overnight.  We have to learn to trust this voice, believe in ourselves and have the courage to follow it.  Therein lies is our inner truth.  
Most of Dragonfly’s life span is spent as a nymph . . . in the water . . .  in the transforming stage . . .  an adult dragonfly at its peak, only lives about two months.  
This is so symbolic.  All of our lives, we are “becoming”, transforming, changing, and growing.  Even if you think you’re as good, or as perfect or as enlightened as you can possibly get, you are still transforming all the way to spirit body when we finally leave our physical body behind. 
What belief finally overtook every false belief I had been taught as a child?  It was the belief that my heart was my altar.  I called it the “altar of my heart”.  I placed everything on the altar of my heart.  If it made my heart sing then it was right the right choice for me, a good decision to make, the right direction to move.  But, if it made me feel uneasy, anxious, nervous (and occasionally, nauseous!) then I knew it was the wrong choice for me to make.
I love reading non-fiction and a couple of years ago, I read Ken Carey’s book, Return of the Bird Tribes.  This book resonated with me and confirmed for me what I had already felt.  It was my inner truth expressed so beautifully. 
“Without acquiring another life-skill, without acquiring anything but complete and utter trust in the guidance system that you were born with, you have everything you need to interact optimally, creatively, and productively with every situation you encounter.  There is no exception.” 
He went on to write, "When you doubt your native ability to breathe the air of spirit into your world and create according to your divine thought, you are doubting both God and the universe.  You are rejecting life's most precious gift to you---your own inner knowing---and you are presuming to replace it with values, judgments and opinions you have acquired secondhand."  
I recently performed my Dragonfly medley at the Chehaw Native American Festival in Georgia.  I could see dragonflies flitting all around me, but to be honest, I sometimes go off in my own world when I perform and surround myself with the animals of the music I’m playing (but that’s another blog!)  But, afterwards, a fan came to the booth very excited to show me the video he took of me and the Dragonflies that joined me; darting in close and then flying like mad around the circle only to dance with me again.  
What was the message did they bring me? 
Well, the first lesson is to dance and play.  Life is short for us as well as a Dragonfly, if you only have 2 months left to live as an adult Dragonfly, you should dance and play as much as possible.   Stream the Dragonfly song (on Animal Totems 2 CD) to dance to!  Send me a video (G Rated) of you dancing to Dragonfly.  Send me your dance moves for more inspiration! Feel the grace and beauty of the song which is the feeling I got from watching Dragonfly dance.
Second, Dragonfly medicine always beckons us to seek out the habits that we want or need to change.  Have you noticed how agile, fluid and graceful Dragonfly is?  It is a great lesson to NOT be rigid in what I think I know and what I think I don’t know because it can show up as joint stiffness and affect my performance.  As a violinist, it’s imperative to be fluid and have easy movement of my body.  If I don’t learn to let go of old ideas and emotions that no longer work for me I could get stuck in the past.  Being judgmental or critical of myself or others can also lead to the same outcome and inhibit my ability to continue my life’s passion - playing music.  Music is my expression of source.  
Third, Dragonfly asked:  “Have you forgotten why you do what you do?”  Music is the medicine that I share and as a healer I can’t expect anything in return or the medicine doesn’t exist.  It must be given freely with love.   
The power of the Dragonfly is the power of becoming the illusion (not “delusion”). The ability to “become” the vision you seek is alway changing because you are always creating something new.  YOU (all of us) are creating it all.
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